Heights

by Long Neck

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1.
03:34
hear the train by the river getting closer and closer doesn't it know we're all trying to sleep? every star blinks, they're growing colder waiting for the passing of freight to the day tonight, we all crowded and pressed and endured you moved close to me, much more than before i was struck back to when i was 16 had a heart like a racehorse galloping i wanna believe there's something coming other than that train or the cars on the interstate. we can talk about sex, we can drink our 40s alone, but we are still kids. fuck we are just kids. tonight, we all crowded and pressed and endured you moved close to me, much more than before i was struck back to when i was 16 had a heart like a racehorse galloping when every christmas season, with all the lights and the snow his living room was warm. i'd be itching to go sit there and play songs in drop d he was folk, he was blues, he was country to me. and you are so much better than he was you are so much better than he will ever be. you mean so much more to me than he does you mean so much more than he will ever mean have a good night, have a good night hope you sleep tight, have a good night go to bed now, go to bed now dream of high ground, dream with no sound
2.
03:47
ice floes, ice floats--what's the use? winter songs on repeat in a fall gloom winter songs on repeat to be close to you i don't wanna stay here when the sun sets, like i don't wanna lose your number when the poles reset i'm not ready not ready for that trek ice floes, ice floats in a cold place surface cracks like the lines in your face surface cracks like dirt in an earthquake i said "you move like a priest" and you said i "stare like lilith did" didn't think i was a demon i want to run til breathless i want to stand til weightless i don't wanna stick around for the nonsense so let me hide with the dust in your basement i wanna stretch my body like a black hole never-ending, all-expanding, don't know where it goes it's a power, and i think that i'll take it do you know if there's salt for the frostbit?
3.
03:16
tomorrow, i go back upstate not long now til i graduate tomorrow's comin up too soon not long now til i'm 22 lived by river, let me live by sea lived alone, let me have company burned my feet to mark my tracks fell asleep to whistling scolopax align your palms with my hands and pull me through the murk i'm waiting for a good light and fireworks so it's dark before the dawn? i've stumbled home past concrete lawns when the world was spinning all too fast i wanted to feel dewy grass but the city seen 'cross from the heights filters out the stars at night and in this bronze and golden view i want to share it all with you align your eyes with my own and tell me what you feel i'm waiting for the summer and something real new jersey, i don't want to go but you know i love you so new jersey, i'll be back, i swear to you and all who i left there
4.
broken hearts and sideways glances plastic bags stuck in tree branches tiny, grand, or grown to size we are shades of wanted lives crowded rooms and secret pages chipped teeth and minimum wages did you think you could predict? did you think it'd be like this? no feet all hangin in a swimming pool no feel like a kid staying home from school (enter mr. rogers) nightmares and cold, empty sheets exile and warm snuggeries scream into a ringing phone screaming cos you feel alone sometimes it's hard to breathe at night weight on my chest, throat closes tight to go out swimming with my fears some say whales live two hundred years! no feet all hangin in a swimming pool no feel like a kid staying home from school
5.
02:41
i know you don't miss me as much as i thought, but it's ok, it's getting better. you felt the city, you felt the miles, you never returned my letter. we don't talk much anymore and some days it just kills me. i feel every arrow to never hit its mark. i stay up late and hold on to the dark. i curl up to feel small. but it's ok, i'm doing fine. you don't need to worry like you do. wish you could understand me in perfect clarity, understand why i was furious then crying over you. i know you don't miss me as much as i miss you. but i still wish that we could talk, stay up late like we do and try not to wake our parents up. i feel the miles, i rewrite my letters, i'd send more if i thought you would respond. you could be so much better than you are.
6.
little leaves in the trees, broken glass on the ground did you see me? i was trying not to be found white docs all muddy, everyone can see where i've been heart's on my sleeve, but i'm trying to keep it hid these are my stories, and they are mine to tell listen--love is a window thrown open when the panes clatter and all the glass shatters and what it lets in, and what goes creeping towards something gentler and something of matter these are my heartbeats, and they are mine to have through the good and the bad could you imagine my surprise when i realized i was writing songs with you in mind? listen--love is a crack in the silo tuck it aside, it trickles outside the split gets wider, and it grows and grows and grows when it crumbles, you scramble to confide listen
7.
02:47
someone took a needle to the sky and kept missing the vein, they were trying they were trying someone took a needle to the sky they were having a hard time, i'm not lying i'm not lying every time that i close up my eyes i want to find you there, i am vying feels like vying every time that i close up my eyes "out of sight and out of mind", they were lying they were lying and the dogstar keeps on shining all along the dogstar is still hanging on and on spent all morning tracking up the snow i cannot feel my toes, it is ok it is ok spent all morning tracking up the snow by tomorrow's dawn, there'll be no trace will be no trace i will not drink whiskey to stay warm! or to tell you how i feel, though i'm afraid, i am afraid i will not drink whiskey to stay warm could always be honest, i will be brave i will be brave and the dogstar keeps on shining through and through the dogstar keeps on shining through the blue
8.
02:21
calm yourself down and stretch your limbs take her name and breathe it in buy a six pack and drink it dry pass out on the couch at night cos you're alone again alone again don't it hurt? tell your friends that you're doing great that her eyes don't keep you up so late or how her mouth is a perfect slate and that you don't feel you're about to break but you're alone again alone again you don't know why you're so alone again, it feels longer this time
9.
the wine in my belly has stopped being so mean you have the kindest face that i have ever seen let me hold it in my hands, keep it in my grasp i need something glimmering, something that could last there's a gnawing at my heel and a tugging on my sleeve i'm choking on the words i was set to believe in this is madness, this is cruelty, this is fucking messed up how i can't ask for help and swear it's enough i can't ask for help, i swear it's enough that kind face of yours is smiling, i know it's all sincere you don't know how happy i am to be with you here tomorrow, i'll wear something with pockets so i can stuff them with words i refuse to say like "you're everything i want, and i hate the way you know. i need you more than ever, can we hang out in your home? you make me want to scream the ribs out of my skin i'll hang on to you like i hang on to them" and there's that gnawing and tugging at my heel and sleeve again what i need now is a really good friend but i hide my hunger, i'm ashamed of all my food i feed on how much i want you feed and keep feeding on how i want you for now, where i'm standing is where i should be with you, standing tall, keeping an eye on me i'm sorry for the burden, to make you so bereft of space but you're still here, you haven't left you're still here
10.
02:14
too early fireflies, washed out by rain the bats flew far out and came back again they kept me company, and i was grateful for it a "hearty" welcome to the hole in my heart a shaky good-bye to the woods that i loved here's the new canopy i'm working with i can hear your voice now calling through the dark, it's a dizzying sound i can hear your voice now where are you tonight? i need someone to scream to would you treat me right? am i in your dreams, too? you left your phantom limbs with me some nights they're still wrapped around me i know i wasn't made for you no "other half" myth could make it true we don't talk like we used to i don't hold my breath like i used to i can hear your voice now calling through the dark, it's a dizzying sound i can hear your voice now

about

Recorded through the winter and spring of 2015 in my dorm room, at my parents' house in Jersey City, and at the Guitar Bar in Hoboken. This is a collection of songs I wrote during and about four years of college and three years of coming to terms with an abundance of things and figuring myself out.

This is by no means a perfect album, but it's mine, and I'm proud.

This album is for all of my friends, here, there, and everywhere, past present and future. This album is for my family. This album is for my dog.

Thanks, team.

credits

released June 9, 2015

All songs written and performed by me.

Thanks to Ben Opatut for lending me his bass.

Marcel Rudin sings on "Salt".

Album artwork based on a photograph taken by Emily Hughes.

Mr. Rogers soundbite taken from the album "Come On And Wake Up" (1972).

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all rights reserved

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about

Long Neck Jersey City, New Jersey

Long Neck is Lily Mastrodimos. This is some of her music. She hopes you enjoy it.

Have a great day.

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Lily: guitar, vox (she/her)
Evan: guitar (they/them)
Alex: bass, vox (he/him)
John: drums (he/him)

*********************

Booking:
jeremy@lostandfoundtouring.com
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