1. |
Campfire
02:58
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I could be a leech, or I could be a termite--burrow and eat like it’s all I have in my life.
Watch a home crumble, a world shrivel up
Stay firmly fixed to the point I corrupt.
I want to eat
Slices of peach
That I
Cut with my own knife
Rain is falling--I feel every drop
Wind is blowing--don’t want it to stop
Walk with a limp and I feel every step
I am a prototype, I am a mess
I want to build my own fire
Silver maple and sycamore
Empty bottles and cans ‘cross the floor
“Drinking alone is such a bore”
We’ve heard it all before
Leave the campsite cleaner than when I found it
I want to build my own fire
Cut peaches with my own knife, and
Live better than a parasite, and
Do more with my life
I want to build my own fire
I want to build my own fire
I want to build my own fire
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2. |
Cicada
02:41
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She
dug her nails into the bulk of me
Reminded me of who I’ll never be
What kinds of things won’t belong to me
She twisted her wrist to insult the injury
How long can I fake it? Arms crossed like a stress blanket
Arms crossed
Disconnected imagery
And a troubled frequency
I want to write about every color I’ve seen,
Bike reclaimed by the ivy,
Cicada latched to a locust tree
I’ve reached the stage where I want to explain myself in a spotlight in my mind. But the audience is silent and so am I, so I hear myself apologize cos it can be exhausting to be standing by my side.
Disconnected imagery
And a troubled symmetry
I want to write about every color I’ve seen
But, what I write becomes self-deprecating
She makes it so damn easy
It’s not who I want to be
It’s not who I want to be
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3. |
Untitled
02:20
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I keep a message that I wrote to you as a reminder of what you put me through, as a reminder that I am strong too, as a reminder I’ve lived splendidly without you. I’ve lived splendidly without you.
But to continue returning to the choice I made is tiresome, shakey and tangled and frayed. The trust that I poured into myself can be so strained. I’ll be careful to not doubt her heart again.
You see rings
In the new break of an old tree
As marking
Each year of suffering
You will sit and waste your time (counting)
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4. |
Birds
02:49
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Downy coat
Letting loose its feathers, as if
I am molting, like I am shedding this year completely
And I face the cold
Bare-skinned and ready
I’m still as large as the world that I was born in
I bear the weight of my essence every morning
Loss of feathers doesn’t make my shadow any smaller
I resolve to stand a little taller
I resolve to stand a little taller
Silver hairs
Hidden like some long-forgotten and overgrown trail buried, wild, in a forest that keeps growing and keeps growing and keeps growing
Where the light turns everything
Dappled as a grey horse, as a starling’s winter plumage
One day, they’ll be more intrusive
I’m still as large as the world that I was born in
I bear the weight of my essence every morning
And I’m so tired of submitting always to this pressure
But it doesn’t make me something lesser
No, it doesn’t make me something lesser
I resolve to drink alone no longer
I resolve to start the new year stronger
I’m still as large as the world that I was born in
I bear the weight of my essence every morning
Loss of feathers doesn’t make my shadow any smaller
I resolve to stand a little taller
I resolve to stand a little taller
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5. |
They Shoot Horses
03:06
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I need you like a horse needs a break in its leg
I need you like I need to set fire to my bed
Where you see and hear me now is my home
And you are not allowed to cross this threshold
You have no claim to it--
My body, my heart, or my friendship
Where you see and hear me now is my home
And you are not allowed to cross this threshold
You were crying and holding my face like it was a cliff’s edge
Let go and you’d drop down with no trace
I’ll watch you fall anyway
You have no claim to it--
My body, my heart, or my friendship
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6. |
Backseat
03:19
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They lined their windows with salt
Buried their dog in the front yard
How he was so deeply loved, and
How he’ll spend his slumber standing guard
Put on a brave face
Your friends are waiting
Your mom is calling
You can’t stop running
When did you first realize
Everything has a limited timeline?
In the backseat, age four or five
Tears on the fabric and stinging my eyes
All that you can’t see
Hidden purposefully, or
Out in the open, we
Can feel so broken.
So put on a brave face
Your friends are waiting
Your mom is calling
You can’t stop running
When words can’t say enough about every ounce of love that you feel in your bones and blood, how can you let it out?
When you go to sleep,
All that you can’t see, or
Shared prematurely, or
Hidden purposefully
Claims space in the
Backseat of
Your heart and how you think
All the while
You dream of
Wildcats and ghosts in the creek
In the backseat, age four or five
Tears on the fabric and stinging my eyes
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7. |
Slowly, Slowly
03:19
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These awful things I feel at night settle in my bones to fossilize. My bed is too small, but I grow into (it)
I grow into
Slowly
Slowly
When my heart starts beating fast, it’s echolocation--what’s bouncing back is an image I see that is burned into
It’s burning through
Slowly
Slowly
I cannot discern how time passes
I rely on beer bottles as hour glasses
I cannot name the type of sadness in your eyes
But I am trying so hard not to cry
Slowly
Slowly
The incarnations we’ve shed in this place unfold and stare each other in the face. There are more forms we can grow into
We’re growing too
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8. |
Broken Ring
02:06
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Can’t look you in the eye like a wolf at a campsite--wary and shameful of taking the first bite. It’s not that I don’t find you appealing, just don’t want to be too revealing.
Maybe one night, I’ll get drunk and I will tell you something honest
Don’t know if it’s a prediction or if it’s a promise
Did the tremor in my hand crack my silver band?
Did the tremor in my hand crack my silver band?
I am happy with you near me, dual shadows on the ground
Terrified to think that I could lose what I just found
Maybe one night, I’ll get drunk and I will tell you something honest
I don’t know if it’s a prediction or if it’s a promise
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9. |
M.D.P.
03:51
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There’s a slow burn in behaviors unlearned. Soft or relentless, hard-earned patience, consistent work, and over-awareness.
I am afraid I’ve led others astray--mimicry in motion, sincerity in name, bitter-tasting potion and doubt growing shame.
Call it “dramatic”, an “overreaction.” I didn’t ask you--my hurt is my own. I watched the plates crack, I watched it grow up ‘round the trees--the vines wrapped so tightly. Parasitic hunger, block out the sunlight, gulp down all the water and suck the soil dry.
She said,
“You’re the most delicate person I know”
She said,
“You’re the most delicate person I know”
When the sweat broke, smell tobacco smoke, watch the fireplace be stoked. I am afraid of great billows contained and a home engulfed in flame.
She said,
“You’re the most delicate person I know”
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10. |
Bad Words
02:40
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You said something (that) you shouldn’t have
Cos I
Feel spoiled by kindness, and
Call it what you will
My love’s too big to fail
You don’t say anything
You don’t say anything
You don’t say anything anymore
December moon all in silver
Full and greedy
Some hunger keeps my heart beating, and
All the space that we occupy
It’s not the sleeping alone that gets me
It’s knowing the reason why
I can’t stop thinking
I can’t stop thinking
I can’t stop thinking about
Maybe, if I clean up my act
Someone will love me back
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Long Neck Jersey City, New Jersey
Long Neck is Lily Mastrodimos and dear friends. This is some of her music. She hopes you enjoy it.
**********************
Dear friends include:
Kevin Kim
John Ambrosio
June Amelia Rose
Alex Mercuri
Emma Witmer
Eden Pacheco
Micah Prussack
*********************
Booking:
longnecklass@gmail.com
... more
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